Before I was a parent, I had it all worked out in my head what a perfect parent I was going to be! I was always going to be the “fun mom”, never raise my voice, only feed them healthy meals, give them baths every night…the list goes on and on.
Of course, that all changes once your children are no longer imaginary and they are real living and breathing human beings! Hot dogs for dinner aren’t such a bad thing once in awhile and sometimes we’re just too worn out for a bath. Kids are supposed to be a little dirty, right? We do what’s necessary make life a little easier for ourselves (and keep our sanity). This includes telling the occasional lie to our children. If a little white lie can suppress a meltdown, how can that possibly be a bad thing? Of course, some of these lies work better on the little ones. Now that my seven year can read, it’s a little harder to pull it off sometimes!
[bctt tweet=”10 Lies We Love To Tell Our Children…which of these have you used?”]
1. Sorry sweetheart, they’re closed
How many times have your children wanted to go to the toys store, Target, McDonalds, or other kid friendly place when you really need to run your errands or just want to go home? Rather than saying “no” outright, I’ve found it’s easier just to say the store is closed. I’ve even used a version of this at Disney by telling them that the park is about to close and as we’re leaving I point out all the other people that are leaving too (there are ALWAYS other people leaving so this works great)
2. I don’t have any money
It doesn’t matter where you go, children will always see something they want. From the souvenir shops at Disney World to the toy cars they sell in the grocery store. I simply say that I don’t have any more money and that usually does the trick. Years ago, a little boy that I taught in Kindergarten told me sadly that his parents didn’t have any money. I remember feeling so sorry for him until years later I realized they were probably just telling him the same lies that I was now telling my own kids.
3. They don’t have that here
My three year old LOVES spaghetti! However, if they gave out awards for messiest spaghetti eating, she would have a trophy five feet tall! I don’t even mind making it at home (I just put a towel under her) but when we go out to eat, sometimes it’s more than I want to deal with! I’ve been known to read the kid’s menu to her and “accidently” skip over the spaghetti entrée. Recently she asked for spaghetti as soon as we sat down and I told her it wasn’t on the menu. Of course, my oldest daughter spoiled my plan by saying “Yes, it is mommy”. I never should have let her learn how to read! So of course my little one got what she wanted and this was the result.
4. Awww, that’s too bad…they don’t have your size
Sometimes when we go shopping for new shoes or clothes, my daughters will pick out something that’s either too expensive or just not something I want them to wear. That’s when the old “they don’t have your size” comes into play. I have to lie or we would have a closet full of sparkly, sequined dresses and nothing at all to wear to the playground.
5. The sugarbugs will turn your teeth black
My little one doesn’t always want to brush her teeth but I don’t argue with her about it. We’ve already had talks about how the sugarbugs turn your teeth black if you don’t brush them every day. On those days that she doesn’t want to brush, I just tell her it’s fine and that the sugarbugs will be happy they can stay a little longer. That always does the trick and the thought of the sugarbugs on her teeth all night makes her change her mind every time.
6. Time to get ready for bed (even though bedtime’s really 45 minutes away)
This one doesn’t work nearly as well as it used to since my oldest can tell time now! However, back when I was teaching and had a ton of work to do, I was known to fudge the time every now and then so I could get stuff done. Isn’t it good for them to get a little extra sleep anyway?
7. Sorry, you can’t drink sippy cups in a big girl bed
Until recently, we let our three year old have a sippy of milk every night at bedtime. However, it was time to stop that habit and thought that our recent move would be the perfect excuse. She had been sleeping in her crib/daybed until the move and now has her sister’s “big girl” bed. She asked for her sippy cup the first night and I told her that you can’t drink a milk in a big girl bed. When she protested, I told her that I’d let her make her own choice…sleep in the big girl bed without milk or we would let her have her crib back. She thought about it for a few minutes (SERIOUSLY thought about it) and finally decided that she’d keep the bed.
8. Remember, Elfie reports to Santa every night
I LOVE this one and it works well with both my girls! Way back when, we used to tell our kids that Santa was watching and this had the desired effect most of the time. However, they can actually see Elfie, proof that he is there to report all behavior, good or bad, directly to Santa at the North Pole.
9. We are out of that sweetie. I’ll buy more next time we go to the grocery store.
There are times when my little one doesn’t want what I’m serving for dinner and requests hot dogs or spaghetti (she could live on those two foods alone). Since I only serve hot dogs as an “emergency dinner” and you already know how I feel about spaghetti (see #3), I just tell her we’re out and I will buy more next time and she actually believes me. I know someday she’ll catch on but I’ll keep it up as long as I can!
10. A kiss will make everything better
This is my favorite lie because it really is true sometimes. I LOVE when I can give their “injury” or “boo-boo” a kiss and make it instantly better. As they get older, it doesn’t work quite as often but it sure is sweet when it does!
Admit it, haven’t you told one (or more) of these lies at some point? I’d love to hear what lies you’ve told that didn’t make my list (because I just wasn’t quick enough to think of them yet).